Desk Jockey Daniel writes:
This is the horrifying yet tragically inevitable evolution of that crazy little hideaway desk from last time.
No, that image is not photoshopped, or staged. That is, indeed, a person's entire workstation unceremoniously crammed into a wardrobe. If I came home to this, I would only be able to assume some kind of cruel prank. Either that, or that I am now going to be checking my email in the land of Narnia.
I can't think of any rational reason that someone would do a thing like this. I don't even think I could sit down at this desk. I would be afraid of it falling over and crushing me to death as punishment for my terrible taste in furniture.
Desk Jockey Al writes:
I've seen this desk before. Once, a long time ago, my mother's sewing cabinet was hastily converted to a desk. This lasted for all of a week before my mom got exasperated and bought herself a new, real desk. She learned. Sauder, apparently, didn't.
Why? Just... why?! This is a disaster waiting to happen. Again I ask the question: why have these weird, "collapsible" desks, when they'll end up taking the same space as a normal one that doesn't fold into itself? Get rid of the hinged doors, move around some shelves, get rid of the constricting walls, and BAM. Instant normal desk.
The more I think about it, the more I think this is like the older, stupider brother of the hideaway desk. Whereas the hideaway desk at least tried to pretend it was something else innocuous, you're gonna end up with this big fat armoire sitting in the middle of your office. And, well, it's $185, compared to the hideaway desk's $120. I might actually consider the Hideaway on days when everything is black and grim and perpetually 3 AM. There's only one reason- one horrible, foul reason- I'd ever buy this. First I'd paint it several bright colors complete with the words "Free Candy" on the outside, then I'd put it somewhere that some poor kid could find it and stuff my own dying body within. And then? Then, my spirit will await the dark results.
Machismo
DJDaniel: If your computer is in your armoire, it stands to reason that you yourself are in the closet. -1-
DJAl: If I had known that armoire would be used as a desk, I'd have taken an axe and smashed it to pieces! Yes, I'm resorting to using a Soup Nazi joke because Daniel already made a closet joke AND a Narnia joke. Damn you, Daniel. I would've given this a higher score, but, spiced pine? Really, Sauder? There's only one thing that can have a high machismo score with the word "spice" in its name, and I'll give you a hint: it's not an armoire desk. -1-
Timelessness
DJDaniel: How long do you think you could roast marshmallows over this thing once it was on fire? That's exactly how long it would remain desirable to have. -2-
DJAl: Knock out the shelves. Put up some hangers. There, a decent armoire. Until then, you'll be sick of this in the first two weeks. -3-
Verve
DJDaniel: You know what the wrist-slitting irony of this whole thing is? Even if it didn't have the vital organs of a computer desk hastily sewn into it, the armoire would still be pretty ugly. -2-
DJAl: Yeah, this thing would be the armoire your broke cousin buys from K-Mart. I mean, if you look at secondary images of the thing's front, it's pretty much the most boring design imaginable. Bonus points for trying the same thing as the Hideaway, but minus one for the ugly design. -3-
FINAL SCORE = 2.0/10
We're not taking the armoire, and that's all there is to it! Okay?
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