Desk Jockey Al writes:
... You know, what 's with half these desks we're finding lately? We kinda pick out desks randomly- when it's my turn to choose, I choose a random page number and a random desk, and look what I get. We've basically hit upon what amounts to concept albums, just with $120 desks instead of prog rock. Here we have a desk that's cunningly disguised to look like some drawers. But hit a button and bam, desk. The weird part is the inherent idea that this configuration saves space, which is kinda ridiculous. You'll need at least the space necessary to fold it out in, and if you're doing THAT, you might as well get a real, decent (and tiny) desk like the Sauder Computer Desk.
This is only really a desk, when you think about it, because OfficeMax says it's a desk. It has shelf space, but so do bookcases. It has a flat surface, but so do dressers. The only things it's got going for it, desk-wise, is A) a vague L-shape when opened and B) a place to put your laptop. Of course, that's for a given value of desk-hood. I suppose if you work at a table, it becomes a desk. Dictionary.com wouldn't lie to me... right? Right?
My main concern with it is that it's tiny and has no real places to put your legs. You'd have to pretty much sit side-saddle if you've got long legs, or just sit indian-style on your chair. I mean, that just plain can't be comfortable. Look where the printer is, too. That's just begging for back issues. "OK, just need to pick up this and- OH GOD, MY BACK!".
Desk Jockey Daniel writes:
Oh good, now the gnome living behind my washing machine has a place to download porn.
...do I really need to keep writing? I think that one sentence sums it up quite well. Just to be thorough however, this desk has three defining traits: Smallness, Secrecy, and... damn, I thought there was a third one. The point is that this desk is only useful to tiny people with things to hide. As DJAl already observed, because of the folding you can't use this thing as the end table or night stand it is disguised to be, and forget about sitting in front of it for more than 90 seconds. How are you going to explain to people that there's a tiny square table sitting in your office with a step stool in front of it and a power bar cable sticking out of one corner? Don't you think that might be just a teeeensy bit suspicious?
Machismo
DJAl: Despite the tiny size and ridiculous design, this sucker will have a high Machismo score for one main reason: anyone with at least a modest degree of handicrafting can rig this sucker up to play the James Bond theme every time you open it. That's gotta be awesome for productivity. It almost makes up for working hunched over in an uncomfortable, embarrassing position. -4-
DJDaniel: I don't know... I'm pretty sure Q would roll over in his grave/hovercraft if this thing was intended to be one of his inventions. Unless of course you also gave it a self-destruct timer. -2-
Timelessness
DJAl: There will come a time that you'll wonder why you bought this. But on the bright side, this probably would make for a decent conversation piece, or maybe a place to hide your secret files. But mostly it'll end up in the garage sale 20 years later. -3-
DJDaniel: You know, out of all the furniture in history, the ones that have secret components built in are the most likely to be preserved in museums. That has to count for something. -5-
Verve
DJAl: Crazy setup? Check. Stylish design? Not so much. Inherent soundtrack? Dananana, nanana! Nana, nanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...! -4-
DJDaniel: I think that the picture they gave us is all wrong. Instead of a printer there should be a combination safe, and instead of a laptop there should be old maps of the USSR. And on the other shelves half empty bottles of Jack Daniel's. Ugh, even then, verve? Not so much at all. -3-
FINAL SCORE = 3.5/10
Next time you want to build a secret desk, Eastleigh, don't forget the desk part.
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