Brenton Studio Evanti Collection L-Desk

Desk Jockey Daniel writes:

L-Desk? Does the L stand for LAME?

Honestly, what are we saying here? "I enjoy surfing the net while nestled uncomfortably in the crook of a frozen Tetris block." Ugh, it's so Siberian!

I never got the appeal of the glass desk surface. Things that are transparent are only as pretty or functional as what is seen through them. What's the draw here? "Finally, my phobia of people stealing my shoes while I work can be put at ease. Ooh, and it smudges so delicately with every caress of my Fritolay-christened fingertips..."

Desk Jockey Al writes:

Brenton Studio Evanti Collection L-Desk.

Look at that name.

Look at it.

Now, take a good long look at the desk itself. It's pretentious. It's trying, oh so very hard, to convince you that somewhere, somehow, some famous Italian guy writes on one of these desks. It screams out into the void of office life futilely. The desk designers all huddle together over their drafts of the desk, talking and whispering, dreaming of the day that someone would walk up and say of the desk "Is that a genuine Brenton Studio Evanti Collection?!" in the same way one might say "Is that a limited edition Armani?!"Sadly, they decide to release it to OfficeMax. In a way, this is like like trying to sell a genuine Harley imitation in Azerbaijan. Not only do they not really know what a Harley is, but the chances of them caring are negligible.

Brand names aside, I have to agree with DJDaniel: this whole glass desk surface thing has to go. Not only does it look like it'll break the first time your overweight, sweaty boss tries to lean on it to engage you in conversation, but try to imagine this:

You walk in one morning to your corner office. Your desk is in disarray, as usual, the tension bars to your ultra-modern Brenton Studio Evanti Collection L-Desk unfashionably bent from where you unwisely rested your legs one lazy Friday. The small, sparse desk awaits your presence, and you sit down to notice oh my God, what the hell, are those handpr... WAIT, what the hell is that smudge, oh my god, are those your boss's handprints, and your secre...

And then you gingerly sit down, tallying up your expense totals. Your desk cost you $199.99 at Officemax, no money for shipping, and approximately $200 in Purel and Windex.

MACHISMO

DJDaniel: If I can't smash my fist on it without worrying about shattering my entire work area, this is not a good desk. - 4 -

DJAl: This is a very powerful desk... if you're of the right mindset. Only the very douchiest of douches can pull off using this desk and looking powerful. It's like how some animals in the animal kingdom can get away with wearing bright colors in the middle of the forest: no sir, you do NOT want to mess with me. There are two types of people who will have this desk, one the clueless sheep who wants to appear edgy, and the other a fast, lean shark. They certainly won't look back when buying this desk, no sir, sharks don't have necks so they can't look back. Don't mess with a man who can use this desk. If not for its blatant wussiness, this desk would paradoxically have a lower score than it does. - 5 -

TIMELESSNESS

DJDaniel: Yeah, the whole shiny silver metal thing is going to look about as good as the spaceship from "This Island Earth" in ten years. - 3 -

DJAl: In five years, this desk will look like the windshield of a 1988 Buick LeSabre, just with less bug guts and more handprints. And that's to say nothing of the dubious-looking support structure. Give me good old-fashioned wood anyday. - 2 -

VERVE

DJDaniel: "Okay, I got it: a rectangle! How's that? No? Needs something else? Um....how-a-bout....another rectangle! At a right angle to the first rectangle! Yes! It will go perfectly with my super thick frame glasses!" - 2 -

DJAl: This looks like how someone would design erotic underwear: spare, see-through, and with strange straps in strange places. For the everyday sexually repressed worker, this must be stylish as all hell. - 4 -

FINAL RATING = 3.3 / 10

Keep working your way through the alphabet, Brenton Studio. I'm sure one of those letters will work.