Citadel Corner Desk With USB Hub, Espresso

Desk Jockey Daniel writes:
When I first laid eyes upon this desk, it was as if it was daring me to critique it. Look at it, rising almost heretically high in it's sleek and shiny boldness. Somehow, this desk is not a desk. I can't imagine it in an office or a den; rather, it seems like it should be completely alone in the center of a dimly lit room with a polished obsidian floor. The desk is softly illuminated in blue by hidden lights. It seems to glow with power, waiting for the world's foremost industrial trance composer to step up to it in his platform shoes and sparkling bedazzled vest, and with a few keystrokes by his long black fingernails fill the room with resounding, post-postmodern rhythms.

Obviously, not a desk for everyone.

Desk Jockey Al writes:
Yeah, that thing looks more like somebody's home theater TV setup than an actual desk.  But what gets me about this desk is the bottom.  You know, where- with a normal desk- it'd be nothing but floor.  That, combined with the strange trapezoidal design of the desk itself, makes me wonder just how comfortable it must be to sit there.  You can't really move your chair directly to the desk, you're kinda stuck far away from the desk with that enclosed design.  That just can't be good for your posture.  What I'm really wondering, though, is where do you put the CPU for your computer?  With that bottom to the desk, you can't put it down there.  The strange shape of the desk means you'd have put it on the floor next to it.  That's not so big of a problem for me, but it is for some other people.  Note there's no CPU in the picture, either.

Whereas Daniel sees something post-modern and European, I've got a different view.  It's like whoever designed this desk did so without any knowledge of modern computers or human anatomy.  This is kind of what North Koreans would put in their fake display apartments that they show to Western photographers to impress them.  "Look at us, look how modern we are!  Please don't notice the fact there's no CPU, no way to properly use the desk, and nothing's plugged in!  Glorious love to our leader Kim Jong Il, may he snack on the heads of a thousand perfect white doves!"

Machismo:
DJDaniel: This strikes me as a very asexual desk. While I appreciate its daring, its androgyny doesn't do wonders for its machismo score. -4-

DJAl:  It's hard to feel very powerful when you were assigned this desk by our great leader, Kim Jong Il, who once drove a Ford Festiva across the Sea of China for world peace.  -2-

Timelessness:
 DJDaniel: Avant garde though it is, the design principles are pretty solid. I think it will hold up fairly well, considering its type-A personality. -5-

DJAl:  Further investigation finds some interesting tidbits:  namely this thing is made entirely out of cheap plastic, based on some reviews on OfficeDepot's website.  That, combined with the weird lower-body layout and its unconventional design makes me think this thing is utter, total crap.  -1-

Verve:
 DJDaniel: "Meine Musik mag diese Schreibtisch. Meine Musik braucht diese Schreibtisch." -8-

DJAl:  This is a lot like a Communist propaganda poster:  pretty attractive art and design, but ultimately trying to support a failing and flawed proposition.  -7-

FINAL RATING = 4.5/10

Citadel Corner Desk:  Fallenlassen der phat nordkoreanischen beatmusik.